Breaking the cycle of violence in times of war
Anastasiia is 23 years old and lives in Dnipro, eastern Ukraine. She is the mother of an almost five-years-old son and also cares for her 14-year-old younger sister. Since the beginning of the Russian full-scale invasion, her life, like that of millions of women in the country, has been marked by uncertainty and constant fear.
“Before, everything was normal. We could travel, spend time with family, live without permanent anxiety,” she recalls. “Now everything is more difficult. You are always worried about safety.” But the war was not the only battle she had to face.
“I didn’t want my son to grow up like that”
For years, she lived in a relationship marked by violence. Her former partner repeatedly came to her home, caused aggressive scenes in front of her son, and forced her to call the police on numerous occasions. “There came a point when I simply couldn’t take it anymore. It wasn’t just me. My son was suffering,” she explains. “If I suffer, that’s my choice. But he cannot change the situation. I couldn’t allow him to grow up thinking that was a normal way to live.”
After several serious incidents, she and her son were rellocated to a shelter for mothers and children affected by domestic violence, where they stayed for three months. However, even after her former partner left the home, he continued to harass her. “He would come, bang on the doors, knock on the windows. I kept calling the police. It was exhausting.”
It was through the police that Anastasiia came into contact with the Ukrainian NGO Martin Club, an organisation specialised in protection and comprehensive support for women and girls who have survived violence.
Specialised support when it is needed most
With the backing of a project funded by the European Union, Martin Club provided her with ongoing psychological support, legal assistance to apply for a restraining order, humanitarian aid, and psychosocial support activities for her and her son.
“The psychologists are still in contact with me. Sometimes we talk on the phone, but when I come in person it helps me much more,” she says. “The lawyers are gathering all the documents — the complaints, the police reports — so that he cannot come near us. That gives me peace of mind.”
Leaving all of this behind has not been easy. Anastasiia grew up in a family environment where there was also violence and substance abuse. “When I realised I was repeating the same pattern, it was terrifying. I didn’t want my son to live the same thing. Better to be alone, but clear-headed, than to raise my son in a destructive environment.”
The decision has been transformative. “I don’t like to boast about my choices, but inside I am proud that I took that step. When I finally left… it was a very happy moment. Sometimes I still can’t believe that he can no longer hurt us.”
From survival to rebuilding
Today, Anastasiia works two jobs to support her family and dreams of developing her own project as a tattoo artist. “I love creativity. It’s my space,” she explains. Her goal is to be able to dedicate herself fully to it. “I want to give my family stability, education and time. I don’t want to disappear into work and forget about them.”
In a context where the war has increased the risk of gender-based violence and strained protection systems, the joint work of local organisations such as Martin Club is essential. Not only to provide shelter and immediate assistance, but to ensure sustained legal and psychological support over time, enabling women to rebuild their lives with autonomy and safety.
“When you leave a relationship like that, you see the world differently. More good people appear in your life. More good thoughts,” Anastasiia says.
Her story is not only about a woman who managed to leave violence behind. It is about someone who chose to break an intergenerational cycle, protect her son, and rebuild her life even in the midst of war. It is also a reminder of how humanitarian support can make the difference between merely surviving and truly ruly enjoy a life with rights and dignity.
